Marriage marriages are not a new thing in Indian society. It has been practiced for centuries but the instances of love marriage in India are still low. In the last several decades the Indian society has undergone tremendous change – the social fabric of society has become more flexible and girls are treated equally to boys. As a result, the interaction between the opposite sex has increased considerably and this has contributed to the increased percentage of love marriages in the country. However, the phenomena remain restricted to urban and semi-urban areas. Though love marriages still do not enjoy the same respect and position in society as arranged marriages, parents are becoming thoughtful of their children’s feelings. The biggest reason for opposing a love marriage is caste or religion difference. This is because people are skeptical about marrying their kids in an alien cultural setting. In addition, there are other issues like economic standard, horoscope compatibility, that also hinder the process of love marriage.
Advantages of Love Marriage
The basic concept of love marriage lies in the fact that the boy or girl choose his or her life partner. There is no elderly supervision involved, although in India the approval of elders is sought before the boy and girl in love can tie the knot. The restrictions of caste, social status, physical appearance, and even religion do not apply when a person falls in love and hence such clauses are not part of the marriage discussions. In India where these restrictions are seriously enforced when it comes to arranged marriage, severely limit the number of desirable matches for a person. As a result, they may as well have to settle for less in some of the other aspects. There is no requirement of contemplating dowry as one does not need to prove their worth through the amount of cash and jewelry to be exchanged. In the case of love marriages, one might not compare such points and consider the overall compatibilities in terms of lifestyle, interests, and hobbies. As a result, the chances are very high that the partners will have great compatibility and similar tastes in leisure activities. That may not be the case in case of arranged marriages where the two relatively unknown partners may possess starkly different tastes in life philosophies. In the case of couples going for love marriage, they have ample chances to explore their compatibilities and discuss their life philosophies in depth. They also may be able to discuss their dreams and aspirations for the future and have a chance to shape their career in a way that suits both partners well. People contemplating love marriages have ample opportunities to discuss their preferred lifestyle including a place to settle down, kids, and even holidays. It is imperative that the responsibilities of the future are to be equally distributed among the two partners. As time is progressing more and more gender roles are being reversed in the country, especially in love matches. The men are willing to shoulder the household responsibilities while women are becoming career-oriented and principle bread-winner of the family.
It presents one an opportunity to build one’s life together with their partner. Love is the basis for the partners to come together in the relationship and with love comes mutual respect and commitment. These are pre-existing factors in a love marriage and the couple does not have to feel compelled to produce these emotions overnight. There is the comfort of familiarity in a love marriage. The boy and the girl, they generally are acquainted with each other for a considerable period of time, often studying or working together and if not moving in the same circle. They are aware of each other backgrounds, places of residence, families. In some cases, even the families become well acquainted with each other over time. These interactions and familiarities ease the transition that the couple has to make after marriage, making it easier for them to adapt to situations. There remain a pre-existing comfort-level and trust, that makes one adjust to the changing situation voluntarily with much enthusiasm and not compulsorily. The couple knows each other’s likes and dislikes from before marriage and this help in better set up of a happy household.
Disadvantages of Love Marriage
One of the major disadvantages of love marriages in India is that lack of social ‘insurance’. Even at this time, parents often do not condone their kids choosing a life partner for themselves. Sometimes objections arise from the fact that the religion and castes or social standings or even physical appearance. Sometimes they are wary of the repercussion of the society and relative bandwagon. So, they sometimes refuse to give their consent to the whole affair and separate themselves from the couple. As a result, the boy or girl is on one’s own and if they experience hardships along the way, there are no family cushions to fall back on. Sometimes, this distancing from parents and family affect the relationship between the partners, as they may blame the partners for being the cause of losing the family. In another scenario, there emerge basic adjustment differences between the newlywed girl and in-laws, which may be a result of their disapproval and judgment against their cultural differences combined. Another major disadvantage of love marriages is the high level of expectations and presumptions.
As the couple are more acquainted with each other and have probably discussed every possible scenario for their combined future before getting married, they have a very set picture of how their married life is going to be like. Any deviation from that expected scenario leads to disappointment and which in turn breeds frustration. Love marriages are probably ill-adjusted to adapt to the curve balls that life usually throws just for the reason that there is a higher level of expectation. There may be subtle differences in the couple’s individual preferences that stem from their religious and cultural upbringing. These small differences come into focus when the two individual start living together after marriage. While some of these may be sorted out quite easily through minor adjustments, sometimes these small issues collate together and transform into big issues that might affect the stability of the union. Although the relation begins on the basis of love, there is no guarantee in place that the mutual feeling of love will remain forever. The one or both the partners may become tired and jaded from the marriage, sometimes due to constant conflicts or sometimes just because of the length of time and change circumstances. They may decide to part ways and their families might not be willing to mediate reconciliation.